Left to Tumblr!

Went to Tumblr... Never coming back!

Shit, Nothing makes sense...

I feel like... I don't know how I feel. I just want a hug right now from someone who cares about me. I want to tell the world all of my secrets but I can't... I want to be able to get out of my life and start over with a select few people to bring along and get closer to/know better. Right now I feel crooked... I feel like I'm leaning to one side of my seat as if I'm being pushed by nothing but the sheer gravity of the Earth... I feel tied down and empty... what's wrong with me?

Whoa...

Life is strange. Very strange in fact, so much so that It's alienating me. I don't feel connected anymore, something that I've never really felt before. Some new things that are very new with me so far is that I'm in a band... A vocalist in fact. Our name is One Day, Three Autumns and we are within the Post-Hardcore genre. I'm really excited for us and I'm super stoked for our future because not to toot my own horn but we are pretty damn good. We have a show coming up, it's our first one to be honest and if any of my readers would like a ticket please comment below and I'll give you some info in order to receive a ticket. It's a total of $15 dollars if you decide and we are playing at The Metro in Chicago. Now you understand why we are excited eh? It's gonna be super cool and it's full production and just totally awesome... here's a poster from the promotion people. Hopefully we will have songs up within the next month. keep checking back!

Getting back on the saddle again...

I know I've really slacked with this for a long time but Bob talked to me about this last night about how he read what I posted on this among other things as well... I get the feeling he's not the only one around doing this so I figure fuck it! I'll be typing in this thing as much as I can all the while listening to some badass techno which is the first thing I will share with you guys today!

The New Layout

I'm trying this new layout of colors to help your eyes from straining against extreme contrasts... Tell me if you like it better. Also a side note... Yellow is my favorite color.

Also +1 internetz if anyone can guess what special website those faces are from... but remember rules 1 and 2!

Depressed?

it in this current state of mind but I am as depressed as your tiny eyes do find. I'm resting my aching soul in the corner of my heart as the walls begin to glow.

I don't know why I am disheartened so much at the moment. I just want to reset my life. Re-do everything I've ever done. Start fresh to where I can remake all my choices and be a better person today then I was yesterday. I feel so bad about things. I'm not a good son by any means. I hardly have a steady relationship with my father I feel like I always let everyone down and I make promises I don't know if I can keep or not. I want to go out and party and drink and chill out with people but I know Hannah doesn't like it. I got pulled over by the cops on Saturday and now I have a ticket. I have almost no money in the bank. I still owe my dad for 2 months of car insurance, I owe Waubonsee 700+ for last Semester and I can't even check my grades to see if I passed or not. I owe the credit card company 200+ for my card. Which isn't over drawn it's just dead weight I am carrying with me. My mother hasn't payed her half of the cell bill and I think it's been over a month... My life is just in shambles at the moment and if I continue the way I am I'll probably wreck the rest of my life for good.

Some part of me just tells itself I can get out okay I just need to set some rules but the other part of me just indulges whenever and wherever. I constantly give in to myself and those around me and if I don't I feel like I'm shunned. This isn't the life I want to live I want to be happy and care free but I know that isn't how life works.

Sorry I just needed to vent I guess... I need Friday to get here so I can take a look and see where I am at money wise. Maybe I should just get a loan from the bank pay everything off then just pay the bank back? Sounds Hella good to me... would you do it?

To all of those who are reading this. Please keep this between you and me for now. Those who are close to me have enough on their plate as it is and I don't really want any more pressure from them in my life at the moment. I feel as though I may pop from everything going on around me.

On a happier thought. I won $180 dollars worth of equipment from a company called Razer. They make computer peripherals for gamers. it's funny cause the only things I got were a mouse and mousepad... so yeah $130 bucks for a mouse sounds pretty damn good to me.



I can't explain

Now I need to write this resume for my job. I want to get this promotion. It won't change my wage but it's on the road to being that way.

Maybe I'll survive the month somehow. I sure as hell hope so. Also, Joe the headlights work just fine. The only issue is that the Lenses on them aren't as perfect as the factory made ones so I'll have to get some glue from Nissan and pop my old ones off and switch them to the new ones. other then that the Halo's work perfect. here's a pic just to gloat!

I love all of those around me in more ways than I can think. To say I only have love for one person would be wrong because I just can't do that. Everyone is special to me in one way or another, (except for my sister). I don't really know where I am going with this post anymore so I'm going to head out...

Before I go just one more final word if you don't mind.

Microsoft Office 2010 Beta, try it, it rocks.

T(Sch)ool Time!

So I'm in my class listening to my classmates going on about a project we are doing. To be honest I think I have a good idea for the advertisement for Haven Bay (Our yellow page advertisement project). If you haven't realized this class is for ADVERTISING! Wow... can you believe that? Fancy huh? Anyway I'm having a great time... We actually have a chance to win a lot of money! but I gotta go for now so I'll ttyl guys. CIAO!

Ho Hum...

Aye aye aye! These next two weeks are going to be crazy! I have work Thursday-Sunday and then on Tuesday! it's going to be intense and one hell of an awesome paycheck! Other then that my girlfriend isn't very happy about it... plus I have to move during the weekend of the 24th and I also have my girlfriends prom coming up on the 31st too! AHHHHHGGGG! it's going to be crazy.

In other news I'm trying to convince a co-worker of mine to buy a Ford Fiesta

In other other news... I need to save money so I can do stuff to my car...

I'm going to go check the mail now... brb

*leaves*

*Back*

Hurrah! Magic cards!? sweet... Menards Memos!? FFFFUUUUUUUU!

ugh... life is grand i guess... so here's an awesome picture.

I will never stop believing in myself and those around me!!

At the Grandparents

So yesterday around 3:30-4:00 Hannah, My uncle, and I drove for a speedy 2 hours to get to my grandparent's house down in Galesburg, IL. First off the trip should have taken at least 3 hours but with my awesome little Focus we made it in 2 with an average highway speed around 80 MPH. I honestly enjoy driving that car. It's very quick and agile much more so than my old Sebring (Grocery Getter). I also like how compact it is. I can fit in just about any parking spot and I like being able to turn in tight spots due to it's Go-Kart style suspension. Anyways Hannah just walked over

"hi" I say.

"hi" she responds.

"How are you?" I ask

"fine" she states... she turns and walks away as she passes the pool table she spins and looks at me "No, I'm not fine." she says and walks away.

Oh boy. Life is grand y'know? She came over on Thursday night. We had fun just hanging out and snuggling and stuff. Friday we drove all over getting errands taken care of (Oil change, Taillight assembly for my car, drinks for the drive, etc.) After we got all that done we just chilled until we headed out. Today (Saturday) we went to the Sandburg mall and walked around for a bit. We met up with my Grandma, mom and sis and I told her she should go walk with them. I guess I was being a dick or something cause she's all pissed off at me and stuff. *Sigh* is there nothing I can't do right? I really wanted to buy a Sub at this store over in the mall. It's only 50 bucks so I was like sweet! it's just a little 8" one but it would provide exactly what I want and of course everyone's like "NO!" and I'm like "F&$* You!" (not really) but I was thinking it. I just hate how everyone decides what I get to do. It's so Bull! I want to get a motorcycle later on maybe in like 2-3 years and of course everyone's like "NO!". I just hate it. It's my money and my life so don't tell me what the fuck to do! ugh... Why am I like this? Why is my family like this? Why do I deal with this? it's not fair.

P.S. I wish I could type nicer sentences... =\

Home Alone...

So it's Saturday morning and I'm home alone. Eating a bag of Doritos and I don't think I'll be heading to bed anytime soon. I was having this weird thought in the shower that I should tell my English Teacher that I write poetry. He's a big poetry fan and is friends with Ellen Bass. She's soooo gooooood! It's crazy! But yeah I just kinda wanted to get that out for some reason. I just got off the phone with my girlfriend about 10 minutes ago and also just got done looking at some Graphics cards for the PC I'm going to be building. I think I know which one I'm going to get but It's $350!!! So I'm not in a hurry to go blow that much money on a GPU. So for now I'm going to go check who is online atm on Xbox. If you ever want to game look for me. I'm on a lot. Magas Corada is now signing out.